It is so hard to believe that a little over 2 years ago Josh, Hannah, and I were desperately begging the Lord to grow our family. I can remember the frustration and helpless feeling of waiting, not knowing if our baby was alive, or even conceived! So, in honor of the brothers' birthdays, I'm going to attempt to write about how God showed Himself faithful and powerful in all of our lives.
It is impossible to determine exactly when this journey started. Josh and I always knew, even when we were only dating, that it might not be possible to have biological children. I have endometriosis, a condition that potentially affects fertility. The Lord had given us a peace, and we trusted that He would bring us children in whatever way He saw fit (including adoption). We had a desire to have biological children, but we were also beginning to desire adoption as well. After 7 months of marriage, we were PREGNANT!!!!!
Pregnancy was not what either of us expected. I was sick EVERY day of my pregnancy. I had strange cravings for kiwi and hot dogs, and puked every time I walked into the kitchen. So I spent most of the time in the bed sleeping, so I didn't barf. (Yeah, I literally stayed in bed all day; I only got up for quick potty breaks.) One day, Josh told me that I absolutely had to take a shower or he was going to drag me into the bathroom and hose me down. (It's hard to believe that just 8 weeks earlier I refused to let him see me without makeup!) I was brought to an incredibly low point. The Lord used the challenge of pregnancy to draw Josh and me to Himself, and we grew stronger as a couple. Our precious baby girl (Hannah Grace) was born August 12, 2004. We enjoyed every part of being parents. Having a baby TRULY changes your entire life.
When Hannah was a little over a year old, we started getting "baby fever" again. I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that I DID NOT WANT TO BE PREGNANT AGAIN. Pregnancy was an awful experience for me, and I didn't want to go back there! We knew that we wanted to ADOPT, but we had no clue where to even start. We didn't even know anyone who had adopted a child! So, there we were, just praying "Ummmm, God, what are You THINKING????"
*Stephanie Lindamood took this pic of my babies! She is SO talented, and a sweet friend too :-)